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05 February 2004 @ 07:21 am
Fibromyalgia humor.  

  • Your kid says "Mom, I need a hug" and then automatically climbs up on a chair.
  • You call your child and spouse "Hey you with the shirt."
  • You know the generic names for Elavil, Advil, and Percocet and can spell them all.
  • You stub your toe and it feels like someone dropped a grand piano on your foot.
  • You get up to change the channel on the TV and figure that while you're up, you'd might as well go to bed.
  • You're afraid that your doctor will retire, because then you'd need to train a new one.
  • Your medicine cabinet rivals the pharmacy down the street.
  • You're scared to take public transportation because the combination of perfumes might just kill you.
  • The list of foods you shouldn't eat (but probably do anyway) is longer than the list of foods you can and will eat.
  • Your favourite shoes are ones that don't require you to bend down to put them on. (Love them Birkenstocks!)
  • You spend more money on your office chair than you do on your computer.
  • You've tried or researched every supplement/vitamin/herb/snakeoil known to the world of medicine.
  • At the breakfast table, you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
  • Your back goes out but you stay home.
  • It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
  • Your idea of "getting lucky" is finding your car keys.
  • Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
  • Chocolate is a major food group.
  • You quit eating meat, gluten, dairy, eggs and sugar. And you still don't feel good. (Probably tired from looking for something to eat.)
  • Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
  • You can get lost in the soup aisle.
  • You own more pillows than socks.
  • You get the bagboy to help you out with your groceries, have him search for your car (which you can only remember is "blue"), and then realize you took the bus that day.
  • You think up a bunch of good ones to add to the list, but forget them before you can type them in.
  • If you try to tell someone about this very funny list you read and you can't remember even one item on it.
  • If you forward this list to the same person more than once.

    © Shannon West, 2000, 2003. shannonwest

    How you can tell your body is out to get you

    1. You pray for sun because the cloudy days make your head foggy, and on the first sunny day in ages, you get a migraine that is sensitive to light.
    2. Sex hurts.
    3. You discover a new allergy. To Benedryl.
    4. Random seizures (with no apparent cause) cause you to punch yourself in the face.
    5. Your back goes out on the same day as you get a nasty case of the runs.
    6. Good news. You have the eyes of a healthy 75 year old. Bad news. You're 28.
    7. The snap, crackle and pops you're hearing aren't coming from your cereal.
    8. You wish to God you could sleep, and when you wake up you wish you hadn't ever decided to lie down.
    9. You're afraid of drowning... in your own mucus.
    10. You think maybe anti-rejection drugs might help you keep your supper down.

    © Shannon West, 2004. shannonwest
Current Mood: nauseatednauseated and amused
Current Music: Vanessa Carlton - Ordinary Day
just_kellyjust_kelly on February 5th, 2004 08:45 am (UTC)
hehe ;-) Funny yety not (?)
Victoria: Donald hero. [xd_inc]bikutoria on February 5th, 2004 09:09 am (UTC)
If we can't laugh, what have we got?

It's funny in that bitter-ironic-I-may-break-down-into-tears-of-laughter-and-frustration-and-start-hiccoughing way.